How many more?

Today Delta Cargo had an Honor Guard escort a body through
the process of being loaded into a hearse. Morbid curiosity
had the boys all watching. I scolded them. The whole thing is
almost too much. How many more must die for this war?
While I firmly believe we must support our President, and our
Country, it seems that we need to somehow stop the deaths in
Iraq.

Remember the Asia song from the '80's? "They fight for King
and Country, how many millions will they put to sleep?"

It appears next week I may get a day or two off! YEE HAA!
I've asked a couple of friends over for dinner, so that would
be nice if it happens. It's been too long since I've really done
any cooking for anyone where there is time to do it properly.

Okay, time to prepare for the midnight-fifteen departure.

SEB: 2 days left until you're 30!

After Thought

Today was an adventure into Waverly, Baltimore City.
Oddly enough I knew where I was going! For those
"old timers" like me, think Memorial Stadium. My
task was to pick-up and pay for some hydraulic parts
that had been in for repair. One thousand dollars later,
I had a ram in the bed of the truck, and a jack strapped
into the seat next to me. Apparently it needed to be
kept upright. The guy at the store seemed amazed at
the route I had planned to come back to BWI. I guess
he figured "this guy has no idea where he is, or where
he's going." He would be incorrect. One thing I do know
is how to get around Baltimore. While there are areas
I have habitually avoided, most places are easy enough
for me to navigate.

Over the weekend it finally hit me. Wham! I'm the
person who is the "after thought." When a social
event occurs, I'm remembered after the event has
been concluded (unless a gift is involved)- or someone
is gonna go fetch some food..... movies, just going out,
or even when folks pass away. Sure there are exceptions
but we all know exactly where I'm going with this.
Am I that bad of a person? Am I that miserable to be
around that no one bothers?

George Eastman wrote: "My work is done, why wait."
I never understood what he meant by that, but it is
becoming clearer as the day goes by today. Perhaps
my being trapped like a rat here is part of the problem.
However, I genuinely believe that I am the problem.

Sundae Sunday

Here we go again. Broken plane: Arrived from LAX
with gear door damage. Soooo, instead of getting a
break, here we are sitting waiting for the ferry flight
to be approved so we can leave. Until Boeing says
it's okay to leave, we're sitting.

Our first turn was a disaster. Both the inbound AND
outbound baggage systems died. The two hour turn
became a four hour turn. It's all good. The bird left,
and now we sit.

Boeing has approved the ferry flight, so time to fuel
the bird, get a maintenance ferry permit, get some
food for the boys (they'll fly anything if they have food),
and get the push back crew lined up.

More tomorrow!

Day 55

After last nights melt-down, I'm much better. The idiots
on the ramp didn't bother to load the plane. It's been
made EXTREMELY clear that that lead is to never ever
get near one of my planes again. Never. Two flights, two
delays. buh-bye. Stay away.

The freighter left an hour early. No one bothered to tell
anyone working the plane it had been rescheduled. Last
night it was still scheduled for a 0510Z departure. When
I checked this afternoon, it had been changed to 0410Z.
So nice not to be informed.

The "help" sent in, who isn't help, arrived, and is leaving
on the flight tomorrow afternoon. Uh Huh. That's gonna
go over like a lead balloon. Another flight was missed by
wonder woman at HDQ. Now, she is an idiot.

The nephews came to visit. We fed them hot-dogs from
Iceland. They go absolutely nuts over them. Heck, anyone
in their right mind goes nuts over them. I be lovin' some
lamb! Too bad Americans don't do lamb.

Okay, the bird is on the ground in Dover, so I'm going
home. I think I could sleep for a couple of days right
about now!

Be good!

Welcome Thomas Joseph Marrapodi

Frank & Donna Marrapodi welcomed their new son
last night at 10:04pm. 7lbs 3oz, 21 inches long. Baby,
and parents are all doing well.

Today on the way to Office Depot in Annapolis, I
wrecked the Scion. There was lots of standing water
on the road, and they car hydroplaned: right into a
guardrail. Thank God, I didn't hit anyone- just hurt
the car. It could be 3 weeks before I get it back!
The damage seems to be pretty bad, as the front
wheel seems to be bent in. Scheisse. Oh well.

The plan was to take the ops van, but I decided against
it, as I thought the Scion would be safer. Maybe it
was, as I wasn't hurt. Now I need to figure out transport,
and how to get around for up to 3 weeks. Crap.

It's been so long since we had rain, and now we have
perhaps too much. The tow-truck-driver said I was
number four today, but the first one not hurt. I even
saw one on Route 50 in Annapolis today. There's a
reason for everything I suppose.

Okay back at it.

Day Five oh!

"As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
So a life well-spent brings happy death."

-Leonardo Da Vinci

I'm doomed!

Well today I finally had enough and went to
the VP to say "enough." Much to my surprise,
she said "just do it, get them started." Good.
Tom will start tonight, and Andrew one day
next week. Having help is a good thing. Having
help that I know will do the job, and not drive
me out of my mind with stupid questions.

Seb sent me an email today with surfboard pix.
Thank God I'm not the only nut in the family.
I do have to say it looks smashing, wonderful.
Maybe he'll make me one too! LOL!!

Okay- a fellow aviation victim needs something,
so off I go.

Justus:1 Amanda: 0

Today was a small victory with the MAA. Some
of the rules around here are, well stupid to say
the least. Someone refused to grant something
that would make their life easier, and well, I just
happened to run into her boss, and her bosses boss.
They will make it happen. So sad, too bad.

We have one plane today, no help, and the help
promised isn't help. So, I said it was unacceptable.
If they don't like it- too bad.

It keeps spitting rain. We need rain so badly, I'm
about ready to dance for it. Trees are dying, the
grass is brown, and it's almost water restriction time.
One bright note, it promises to be the best year EVER
for Maryland wine. We'll see.

My tooth is still bothering me. I wonder if I should
have it yanked, or do the root canal thing. Seems to
me that eventually it's gonna have to go....

Okay- back to the grind..........

Never Be The Same

Never Be the Same (Neil Finn)

LYRICS

don't stand around like friends at a funeral
eyes to the ground
it could have been you
why do you weep
for the passing of ages
you slip with the back of your hand
you're taking it out on the one you love
I couldn't believe it
but we might still survive
and rise up through the maze
if you could change your life
and never be the same

how long must I wait
for you to release me
I pay for each mistake
while you suffer in silence
I could still have an easy life
but the life ain't worth living
once more will i hear you say

we might still survive
and rise up through the maze
if you could change your life
and never be the same

don't stand around
like friends at a funeral
eyes to the ground
don't suffer in silence

'cause we might still survive
and rise up through the maze
if you could change your life
and never be the same
everytime I hear you
never be the same
and everytime I mess up
never be the same.

BLOW OUT

Yesterday on the way to work the right rear tire on the Scion blew.
So, a nice State Trooper stopped to assist (and protect from the
idiots on route 100/10)- my brother came with one of the spares
I keep at his house, and changed it. Two new tires, and $250.00
later, the pod is back at it.

ATA called today looking for help. Right, like I got folks laying around
doing nothing. Come to find out, they don't communicate either, and
the problem was eventually solved. Seems to me, they need to get
some of their maintenance children badged.

Master (Pete) returned from Atlanta last night. It took an hour from
block for him to get his bag from AirTran. The moral of the story is
don't check bags. EVER. We had a short chat, and he was excited
about the Heinz baked beans I had gotten him. Funny how little things
make folks happy.

Yesterday when 803 rolled in there was a log book entry: "Roaches in
aft galley." We had to wait for Pete to return to call the exterminator.
I've got the contact information now, so that won't happen again.
Today he was to be here at 0830, when he wasn't here by 0930, I
came in, only to discover he had just showed up. Uh huh. Good thing
I wasn't here waiting for him. There would have been a "problem"
had I been.

We had our first deicing delay today in Hahn. Winter is here boys
and girls! Several days ago I got a call from ASIG regarding our
widebodies this winter. While they love to deice, they were concerned
about the amount of time it took to shoot one, and how it "slows
down the process." Oh well!

My tooth feels much better. There are still several days of antibiotic
left to take, and with luck, no root canal. Lordy, I don't want that!

Okay- be good!

Day 45

So guess who has an abscess on a molar? That would
be me. The dentist wants to try drugs first to see if
it will clear up. It's really early in the game, so keep
your fingers crossed.

I'm really down today. I'm dead tired, don't feel well,
and honestly don't know how much longer I can continue.
Frankly, I don't know if I want to continue. Things are
sort of overwhelming me. What to do, or how to proceed
escape me. Lis has really been there for me, and she
can't begin to imagine how much that means. Life
is sort of not what I imagined it would be.

Bob the mechanic was released today. Sad to see him go.
Fortunately he starts at AirTran in a week, so he'll be okay.
Frank and his wife are due to have a baby any day now.
It makes me happy to see things good happen to people.

The changes at AMC are a disaster. I can't deal with them.
If I'm lucky the abscess will kill me in my sleep.

Day 44

Yes, boys and girls, this is my 44th day on with none off.
I'm starting to wear thin. No, not just the 25lbs of blubber
that's gone, but concentration, patience, and motivation are
all suffering. BADLY.

Tom's blog. Wow, I thought I had a big mouth. HOWEVER,
The "Star Spangled Banner" holds a special place in my
heart. While it's our National Anthem it is also a symbol of
what the people of Maryland were willing to do to protect
and defend themselves in the face of certain defeat. The
British not only lost the battle, but it turned the tide of the
war. Tom I agree completely with you.

Early this morning I got a text message from Seb. He's
gonna be 30 in a couple of weeks. What was he doing?
He's home in Münster making a surf board. Good to see
I'm not the only family member that has a different set
of priorities! It's odd not talking to him much anymore,
he's busy and doesn't really have the time for me.


My Father is going to Cambridge today. He asked me
if I wanted to go hunting with him. "Only if I can hunt
humans." That says it all. He's 75, and I worry about
him driving any real distance. The day will come soon
that I have to drive them to South Carolina. We all have
sort of come to that realization without mentioning it
to each other. They're my responsibility, and it's one
of those things that have become part of the way made
for me.

Okay- back at it. Got a freighter leaving at 1530 (1930Z).

Dance Hall Days

Yup, that's what's playin' on the radio (or internet)
right now. 1984, the summer of the first European
adventure. I remember watching it on TV in a little
hotel in Luxembourg. It seems like just a short time
ago.

Franks wife is getting ready to have her baby. Any
day now- she's had contractions, and is gonna pop
at any minute!!

Today is day 43 without a day off. Not a lot of sleep
tonight- but maybe tomorrow. The bird is supposed
to leave at 0020 (0420Z)- we'll see. It's turning and
burning from Atlanta right now. The changes with
the AMC contract are, well, interesting to say the least.
Constant phone calls about stupid things. "Are you
at the plane?" "No, it's in Atlanta." "Can we raise the
ACL?" Why ask? You're gonna do it anyway! Today
they have called -4- times to ask the tail number.

The giant ($400 a day) fork lift is gone, the engine has
been transfered to the other stand. The only things
left to do are ship it out, and get 276 ready to go to CHS
on Thursday Morning.

Have I mentioned my folks are going to Murrells Inlet in
a few weeks? Yup! Upon arrival they will get to see all
the neat-o things I got for them. It is so nice there.
quiet, calm, and peaceful! I would even venture to say
the beach is great in December.

The flight is a two stopper tonight- and isn't booked that
heavily. So with luck it will be uneventful.

Okay be good!

.... on final

So I survived the weekend. How, I don't really know.
Fortunately we've had problems with the MD-11 fleet,
and several ferry in/out flights have been scrubbed,,,,
HOWEVER, the impending nightmare of the end of the
week looms closer. They may actually send me some
help. We'll see.

Master (Peter Wadsworth) has been sending me text
messages with chores to get done for him. We're gonna
have to have a little "come to Jesus" talk when he gets
back. In case he's forgotten, I'm the Station Manager,
and not vice versa. Last week I asked him to do ONE
thing for me. It still hasn't been done. He also has a
way of getting angry and lashing out when he is wrong,
so the matter will have to be handled with quite a bit
of diplomacy.

For those that didn't know, I've had a thing for a row
house in the city. The specter keeps raising it's ugly
head. While I genuinely fear living in most parts of the
city, and know that it's a bad idea to have a house I won't
be living in full time- I still "lust" after it. My Grandparents
had friends that lived in a TINY house on Port Street.
That is essentially what I want. They used to tease them
that it was "Port Alley" because it the street ended at a
park. Now that's been 35 or so years ago. That are isn't
what it used to be.

Today while doing ground handling bills, I discovered a
freighter that was billed as a passenger aircraft. a $600
turn was billed out as almost $4000! Obviously the bill
is going back for correction. Most of my work is caught
up. However, with my current state of exhaustion the
work took entirely too much time to do. So the bills, checks,
returned ID's, liquor drops, and other sundry items are
out on the dock awaiting FedEx pick-up.

Okay- perhaps more later!

Spencer James & Uncle Seth

The nephews came to visit today. They like to "hang"
with me, and just chill. Spencer grabs my laptop and
insists on playing with it. Seth just wants to talk with
me about cartoons. While really tired, it was nice to
have them around. Those two boys mean the world
to me.

Once again it's pushing 11pm (2300 in aviation speak)
and where am I? At the pit. KBWI. The bird leaves
at 0510Z, or 0110L. Six crew memeber on a freighter
holds the promise of being tight. Not my problem, eh?
These bizarre departure and arrival times are rapidly
killing me. Perhaps it's self fulfilling prophecy! The
whole week is full of them.

Tonight there is an IOE captain. He will finish his
lesson on "thou shalt respect the Station Manager"
tonight. Fortunately the person doing his check is
a fan of mine, and will assist in making certain the
attitude adjustment is complete. Arschloch.

Annapolis was such a zoo today. The boat show, and
usual foot traffic were intense. Luckily West 'naptown
wasn't too bad. I went to the British Shop and got
some things, then on to Trader Joe's. That is one
place I just love. They don't sell crap, and don't over-
charge for what is there.

Okay- the children should be here soon. 'abend!

Exhausted

Today the engine change on the DC-10 and it's ready
to go. In 4 hours I should be on my way home to bed.
It's been a trying time, but beneficial, I suppose. It's
surprising how different they look when removed from
the wing and the cowl is off.

Guenter came down from JFK to help out today, and
will need to come back down next week (please, God)
to help again. The upcoming week is going to be a
nightmare. Tuesday into Friday will be just the worst
imaginable. We'll see.

Pete and I had a nice long conversation tonight. It's
the first time we've just sat and talked for quite a while.
I absolutely think the world of him. He really is one
of the smartest people I've ever met. He's made such
a difference at work.

The weather has turned chilly. Last night the heaters
came on in the warehouse. It was odd hearing them
come on, and smelling them for the first time of the
season. Now if we could only get some more rain! It's
so dry out. Bad dry.

Okay- be good!

The whole fleet

The whole DC-10 fleet was here earlier today. So were
an MD-11 or two. Tomorrow we have 2 MD-11's, one
was a surprise, the second, who cares.

Friday, don't even want to think about it. Lordy. It
seems to me, either I get help or die. Probably die.
I've asked for help. No response. It will be ugly Friday
if I can't use Andrew. (That's a hit to call me, son)

My brother goes to Garrett County tomorrow to take
delivery of his appliances- yeah, one step close to a
place to hide out!

For those who are interested, no my attitude has
not changed.

Be good!

One less flight!

Tomorrow I've gone one less flight to contend with? Why?
The number 3 engine on the freighter is blown. I've never
seen such internal damage from over-temp. Never.

No, my attitude hasn't changed since yesterday. No it won't
change either. It was hard to get out, and feels much better
having said what was said. Done.

Things are moving along for Tom and Andrew. Thank God.
From what I see, they'll each have work. The best part is
that they won't be able to wander the world for World.

Last night I went to sleep early, and was dead. Dead I tell
you. The phone rang at 11:55pm. Guess who didn't sleep
the rest of the night. Scheisse.

Okay- See you at the pit!

A new week.

Today I was in the car with a friend. They seemed so shocked that
I don't think people like me. Why? Fortunately this area of the
World Wide Web would be unable to hold the myriad of reasons I
feel this way. When I'm gone no funeral. No one would come.
While in no way am I suicidal, it'll be a relief when all of this is done
and I'll no longer have to contend with it.

No, I do feel like I'm not a nice person (and have never claimed
to be one)- I do feel like most folks just use me. The fundamental
guise of this is simply told in these little words: "I don't matter."
It's not depression. It's not the job. It's been that way as long as
I can remember. May I also add I am unable to trust people.
Each person I have trusted completely has made a driven point
to betray said trust. It's not that I need therapy. It's not that I
suffered some trauma. These are simply the facts of life as they
appear to me.

One thing I will tell you is this: Everyone makes their own way.
My way was made for me, and now I must travel it. While there
are occasional detours, the path it set. Maybe I allow myself to
be injured by the callous nature of many around me. Perhaps
my choice of who to befriend is flawed. I know no other way.
While my deepest desire is not to be like this, it is as much a fact
as the rising and setting of the sun.

Don't feel sorry for me. Never pity me. I've resigned myself
to how things are, and must live with them. Don't worry or
fret. (not that anyone would or will!) Life is what it is.

Screaming Demon

HOME! YEAH! While at the gate in Atlanta, a clearly nouveau rich
mother bother the gate agent with "my nanny isn't sitting with us."
Uh oh, they are seated behind me. Sure enough her little angel
"Ry-Ry" screamed his head off. Wouldn't listen to anyone, nor would
he shut up. It made for a most unpleasant trip.

Upon stopping at the office, I discovered nothing (NOTHING) had
been done in my absence. After expressing my extreme displeasure,
the boss got an email detailing what was not done. I've also asked
for help 2 days this week. No help? Some flights are going to go
uncovered. So sad, too bad.

For some reason it is hotter and more humid here in Maryland than
Atlanta. Who knows. I must also add this is better than ice and
snow.

Recurrent training is done. Gott si danke! Fortunately it only
happens once a year. Several days were a waste of time. Some
things I won't use at all. Who knows.

Okay this week holds the promise of being a nightmare, so I'll
close now.

Almost home

Tomorrow I get to go home. YEAH doesn't quite get how I feel.
Recurrent training has been, well, odd to say the least. It seems
that no one was really prepared or up to doing what was needed.
Haz-Mat, GSC recurrent, and "ground school" have been a wash.
The new weight and balance program is interesting, but still has
many many flaws. I can't imagine it being ready in three weeks.

My friend Anne died this week. She didn't care what she said
when she said it. She seemed to have had a hard life, and now
she is at rest. Some folks didn't like her, but she was the bomb!

I'm really tired. The sitting around all day has been the making
for nasty long BORING days. Pete Wadsworth tells me that
nothing has been done while I've been away. Pete said that
supplies haven't been put away, bills and mail not touched. I
just don't understand how someone can come into a station and
do nothing. To the point they come in to work and don't even
bring a calculator with them. Now, come on. When I did that
kind of job, I was already dragging my stuff with me on the
very first road trip I did (a 3 day trip that turned in to 5 weeks)

Okay- I need to think about sleep. Be good!

Blue Moon On Monday

Greetings from Peachtree City, Geoooorrrgia.

Day one of recurrent training is done. I surprised the DG
instructor with a sign she didn't have. The batteries for
the surfire flashlight are lithium, and cannot be carried on
passenger aircraft . . anyway.

Tomorrow is GSC. BFD. It amazes me that what used to
be 3 days is now SEVEN. Just shoot me. Will I let them
give me shots? Uh, no. Not without my personal physician
first having approved them. It just aint' gonna happen.

Gotta scoot- Now, any idea what Blue Moon means?
It's not the Duran Duran song!