A new week.

Today I was in the car with a friend. They seemed so shocked that
I don't think people like me. Why? Fortunately this area of the
World Wide Web would be unable to hold the myriad of reasons I
feel this way. When I'm gone no funeral. No one would come.
While in no way am I suicidal, it'll be a relief when all of this is done
and I'll no longer have to contend with it.

No, I do feel like I'm not a nice person (and have never claimed
to be one)- I do feel like most folks just use me. The fundamental
guise of this is simply told in these little words: "I don't matter."
It's not depression. It's not the job. It's been that way as long as
I can remember. May I also add I am unable to trust people.
Each person I have trusted completely has made a driven point
to betray said trust. It's not that I need therapy. It's not that I
suffered some trauma. These are simply the facts of life as they
appear to me.

One thing I will tell you is this: Everyone makes their own way.
My way was made for me, and now I must travel it. While there
are occasional detours, the path it set. Maybe I allow myself to
be injured by the callous nature of many around me. Perhaps
my choice of who to befriend is flawed. I know no other way.
While my deepest desire is not to be like this, it is as much a fact
as the rising and setting of the sun.

Don't feel sorry for me. Never pity me. I've resigned myself
to how things are, and must live with them. Don't worry or
fret. (not that anyone would or will!) Life is what it is.