Yeah,Yeah, Yeah.

So I'm not dead. Y'all know that already.

Where to start. How to end. How to finish what's been started.

First: Work has been a bear. It has forced me to become two
dimensional, as Craig Belmondo would say . . . A combination of
great pressures there, and my family, I've sort of shut down.
The last six or so weeks have been not just hard because of work,
but the troubled individual in my life has melted down, and is in
their own way missing in action. While it should no longer bother
me, and it's certainly not my fault, it still bothers me. I asked
for help for him- yet it repeatedly fell upon deaf ears. Those that
could have forced change refused. If there was some way to fix
it, I would. I can't. I know I can't. I can't get myself to accept
that someone so close to me has changed into someone I don't
know. On occasion the old person that was my friend appears.
Those occasions grow further and further apart.

Tom Brainsky has been a G-I-A-N-T help at work (thanks Tom)
he clearly can see what's going on and is trying to force some life
back into me. It's hard. It's my own fault. I've allowed work to
take over my life. It all goes back to what I think of myself, what
I think I'm worth. My fault, my problem, my issue to contend with.

In a month it's off to Murrells Inlet for two weeks away. With luck
it will help me clear some of the cob webs from my head, and aide
me in re-prioritizing my life. The drive to and from will be truly
beneficial. Being at the beach is a good thing.

This week had a unique event. Jeff, Lis, Tom, and I were all in the
office at the same time. It was as if the clock was turned back to
1999, and the olden days had returned. It was just funny seeing
all us together- and nothing else mattered. Lis keeps a certain
level of reality in my life- and refuses to allow me to drift too
far away from where I should be. She has her work cut out for
her. Don't know where I'd be without her though . . . . . .

There are heavy storms on their way in- a line of red appears
on the radar from New York State clear down the coast into
South Carolina. I should finish this before the storm hits: I
can hear the thunder on it's way in.